My name is Amanda, and I live in Sydney Australia on the Northern Beaches. I am hopeless with computers
8 years ago I met the man of my dreams, I knew that I was going to marry him from the 3rd date. Ryan and I were infatuated with each other from the start. When he would call me or even just hold my hand the hair would stand up on my skin, he proposed to me at the Sydney Opera House, bent down on one knee and said “Amanda, you are the girl of my dreams, the love of my life, my best friend and soul mate will you marry me” and it was a BIG yes from me! He was romantic, he was funny, he was the smartest person I have ever known, he was my best friend, he was my protector, and he still is. We were married 6 years ago and had a beautiful fairy tale wedding, our reception was held at the same place that Nicole and Keith Urban got married (they were married a month before us, but I am sure we had our booking for a lot longer than they did!) It was the most magical and best night of my life, I became his wife and he my husband, and we will be together till death do us part
We had our first born child, a daughter Alethea in the October of 2008. She is beautiful, she is a princess, she is strong willed, she is outgoing, but can be shy, she has more energy than Ryan and I put together and she is way smarter than me (or so she thinks!)
On June 26, 2012 I gave birth to our second child a boy we named Liam, he was beautiful, he was perfect, he lived 3 hours and then was taken from this world. Our perfect world was thrown upside down and I was not sure how to cope, and I am still learning how to cope with having a “dead baby” who has a dead baby?
I am hopeless with computers. I started this blog to help friends and family understand the journey that we are going through, and hopefully if they find themselves in the position of dealing with another person who loses a baby will be better equipped with knowledge on the depth of despair a parent goes through. My blog details all our emotions that we went through soon after birth, and I’ll keep writing until I have told Liam’s whole story. There is so much to tell with his story, no it doesn’t end with his death, that is just the beginning. I will fight for Liam, to let the world know how much I loved him for as long as I can, I will fight so that his death is not in vain.
My blog is a simple one, it is our journey, it is not flashy, it does not have all the extra things to click on…..I am hopeless with computers, before writing this blog I had only ever read one other blog! I know nothing of computers, so please don’t expect a piece of art! I will post around once a week, it is quite mentally exhausting reliving our darkest moments. My blog is our story.
The Hospitals hand out a lot of brochures after your baby dies…One happily lets you know that after the death of a baby 90% of marriages fail……watch this space, the love of my life and I will be the 10% that stay together, he is my everything, my family is my life, without them I am nothing…..I am still infatuated!
Fly high little Liam, Mummy loves you xx