Category Archives: The First Weeks
A Dad’s Journey (Part 2 of 2), when the unthinkable happens and your baby dies
I have often heard the phrase “a parent should never outlive their child” and like most things in life it takes experiencing something before you understand the true meaning. No parent should ever outlive their child, it is not how the world should work, a parent should be able to live a long and happy …
A Dad’s Journey (part 1 of 2), when the unthinkable happens and your baby dies
Amanda asked me a couple of weeks ago if I would like to tell my side of our journey, at first I was a little hesitant, I didn’t think that anyone would want to hear what I had to say, but after thinking about it I agreed, I have written it in honour of my …
A Tiny White Coffin
After seeing Liam in the funeral home, Ryan and I returned home as we had our pastor Sylvia coming to our house to go over what was going to happen the next day at the funeral. We didn’t do an order of service, I’m not sure why we didn’t, maybe it was because there was …
Songs for a Funeral
When Nanna, Ryan and Alethea came home from the park for some silly reason I suggest that Ryan and I take Alethea to Lollipops play land (that’s an indoor play area for children, it has jumping castles, ball pits, big slides etc.) I was conscious that Alethea had been shipped from place to place, she …
An Empty Nursery
We had decided that we would bury Liam, neither Ryan or I had ever been to a cremation so we decided that for us a burial seemed “right”. On the way home from hospital we decided to see the two places that we could bury Liam. The first was at Macquarie, Ryan drove into the …
Goodbye baby boy, mummy loves you x
Thursday night, and I look at Ryan as he was preparing for bed, as usual he took off his necklace, which is silver and has a ‘dog tag’ on it which has Alethea’s handprint that has been digitalised down, her name and date of birth, Alethea and I made it for his second ever father’s …
You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have.
Ryan says that we will try for lights out, it is 11pm and when he switches the lights off it is pitch black, I cannot see the clock on the wall, I cannot see my wrist watch and Ryan has put my phone (which also tells me the time) on the bench out of my …
How do you tell a 3 year old their baby brother is dead?
I had sent out a group text at around 8am in the morning telling our friends that our baby had died, I thought it was easier than receiving the many texts/phone calls that you get when your due date is looming from well-wishers asking if labour had started yet, I really had no idea what …
Was it my Fault?
The feeling of numbness is something that I have never experienced before, in a way I felt like my ears had mufflers over them, and although I was conscious of my body, I felt like I was above looking in on myself as well, I am sure that some of that had to do with …
Pain, Heartache and Numbness
Liam’s official time of death was 523am, such an odd coincidence as that is the exact time of day that Alethea was born down to the minute. No-one is with us now, they have finally given us the peace that we so craved when Liam was alive, but now he is dead and we are …
Missing Liam 